Calla Lily
by Lucicelo
Summary: Even in the afterlife, Tsuzuki continued on visiting his older sister's grave. As he tended to her gravestone, he fondly remembered the one person who loved him against all odds.


_A/N: I saw a drawing by tumblr user quirkydetectives which showed Tsuzuki placing flowers on his sister's grave. I didn't include their mother as a main aspects in the story, I assumed she would be somewhere else due Tsuzuki forgetting her location._

 _I went in harder than I thought possible with this one. I imagined Ruka as Tsuzuki's rock. She raised him after their mother died and tried protecting him from life. In her vain attempts, she saw the cruelty Tsuzuki experienced and could do nothing more than be a shoulder for him to cry on. He thinks of her in his afterlife so she must have made a big impact on him._

 _Thanks for reading, Lucicelo_

* * *

Dressed in his best pressed suit, Tsuzuki inspected himself in the mirror one last time. He might have worn a yukata, but he found moving in a suit easier for his quest. Less of a hassle on his end. No use going back to change his outfit again. He wasted more than enough time on himself. Carding his fingers through his bangs, he grimaced at the bags under his eyes. Sighing to himself, he tore his attention away from the bathroom.

He called Hisoka before he got dressed up for the day. Giving no explanation, he assumed Hisoka noticed nothing too different about him. As he thought out it, he face palmed, his lack of chattering would peak Hisoka's questions. Hisoka didn't need his gift to notice something was off about him. Oh well. He couldn't do it over again.

Warming up a frozen breakfast sandwich in the microwave, he made himself a fully charged cup of coffee. One of the few things he couldn't ruin. The coffee machine did all the brewing work. Once the microwave dinged, he took it out, opened it, and chomped it down. Caring little for the flavor. He needed something to occupy his stomach. He did the same to his coffee. Adding in copious amounts of sugar and cream, he mixed it up. Blowing on the scalding liquid, he gulped it down.

Still tired, he made one more cup and drank it without additions. Big mistake. His eyes shot open and he struggled to finish it. Thinking of his upbringing, he couldn't waste any food, even clean water was rationed. He swallowed it. Cringing at his forgetfulness, he rinsed out his cup and left it in the sink.

"Alright, time to go." Tsuzuki declared to himself. "I'll water the plants when I come back."

Reaching over the sink, he grabbed his keys which were next to the potted succulents lining his kitchen window. He moved a hand around his blazer, feeling the imprint of his wallet from the inside pocket. He felt ready to go.

Tsuzuki locked his apartment door behind him. He jiggled the lock before he placed his keys inside of his slacks and walked down the path.

* * *

The flower attendant ringed Tsuzuki's order up, giving him a once over in the process. She couldn't stop staring at him. The caramel sounding voice on the phone matched the handsome man standing in front of her. Whoever held this guy's attention was such a lucky girl.

She dared to ask him. "So, who are the flowers for?"

Tsuzuki snapped from his thoughts, he answered her. "My older sister. I haven't visited her in years...so I'm making up for it."

She giggled into her hand. "Oh, so you're hoping to lessen her anger through giving her so many bouquets. I have to say, I wouldn't be mad if a man handed me all these flowers. I'm sure she'll love them."

Tsuzuki didn't see the use of correcting the girl as he muttered. "Yeah..." He handed her a few bills and collected the bouquets in his arms. "I don't need the change, thanks."

"Are you sure? I mean _—_ " Hurrying to place the money in their slots, she lifted her head up, he seemingly disappeared into thin air. "Whoa, he sure is fast. I didn't even hear the bell ring when he opened the door."

* * *

 _Clad in his outfit of the day, Hisoka finished off his morning tea. A piping hot mint tea with a spoonful of honey. Tea time in the morning turned into one of his new ways to bring relaxation before he went to work. His body and soul seeped contentment. He finished off some morning exercises, showered, and finished small errands that piled up during the week. Otherwise, a good start to a productive day._

 _Getting up from his seat, he scooted the seat back into place before going to the sink. His phone started ringing and he set down his mug to retrieve it from the receiver. Checking on the caller I.D, he noticed Tsuzuki's home number. Picking up the phone, he went back into the kitchen._

 _"Tsuzuki?" Hisoka turned on the tap to rinse out his mug. "Morning."_

 _Tsuzuki's voice sounded strained. **"I'm just calling to tell you that I'm missing work today."**_

 _Hisoka cradled his phone in between his ear and shoulder. "Why? You know we have to finish our—"_

 _ **"I finished them last night."** Tsuzuki cut him off, Hisoka readied himself to yell at him when he apologized. **"Sorry. It's just...I have to do something today. I'm not sick or anything. Remember when...I came late from lunch around this time a few years back?"**_

 _Hisoka snorted, rinsing his mug and set it on the drying rack. "You've done this ever since we became partners, Tsuzuki. I've gotten used to it. At least this time you're giving me a forewarning before I find out from Tatsumi." Picking up the melancholic air, he dared to question him. "Are you alright?"_

 _Tsuzuki let a humorless chuckle. **"Once this week is over..."**_

 _"Over?"_

 _ **"I'll go back to normal, don't you worry."** Tsuzuki explained before hanging up the phone._

* * *

Hisoka entered through the doors of the bureau, nodding in greeting toward any guardians who passed him. He made it into his office, slipping his backpack onto his desk. Peeking at Tsuzuki's desk, a single manila folder laid in the middle. Curious, he reached toward the folder and picked it up. He shifted through it real quick, his eyes widened at the sight of Tsuzuki's finished work. Tsuzuki wasn't joking when he claimed that he finished his share of the paperwork.

Lowering it back into place, he stepped back to his desk. Hisoka opened one of his locked drawers and took out his own work. Lifting up his pen case, he opened it and picked one of his older pens. Wanting to finish it off before moving onto the next one.

Tsuzuki might be a slacker, but he didn't call out often. Throughout their partnership, he remembered the amount of sick days on one hand. The guy worked after a night of drinking, downing remedies and strong coffee before sauntering into their office. Hisoka gave Tsuzuki some credit in not missing work on purpose.

Feeling the urge for another cup of tea, he stood up from his desk and left the room. The kitchen always kept a good stock of tea. Early in the morning, few people wandered around the corridors. He expected to bump into people when he went into the kitchen.

Catching Tatsumi in the distance, he readied himself to give a verbal greeting. Once he passed him, he told him. "Good morning, Tatsumi-san."

"Good morning, Kurosaki-kun." Tatsumi stopped Hisoka before he left his sight. "Kurosaki-kun, please wait a moment. Where's Tsuzuki? No one has seen him come in."

Hisoka furrowed his brows, answering him. "Tatsumi-san, Tsuzuki isn't coming in today. Didn't he call you?"

Tatsumi pondered, nodding once, he said. "Ah, it's that time of year again. Sure, of course. Hand over the paperwork at the end of the day before you go. I'm sure Tsuzuki left his work on his desk somewhere."

Hisoka arched a brow. "How did you know that Tsuzuki finished his work?"

"He usually does it so he won't get disturbed." Tatsumi informed Hisoka, Tsuzuki showed this quirk during their brief partnership. "I almost forgot about this time. I recall Tsuzuki becomes somber and listless."

Hisoka asked. "Do you know where he goes? That is, if you know where he goes." Tatsumi arched a brow. "I'm curious. He didn't say much when he talked to me."

"He visits his older sister." Tatsumi answered him. "I caught him buying flowers once so I followed him. He was so deep into his thoughts that he didn't notice my presence. I still remember the coordinates to the cemetery if you want them." Hisoka nodded his head, Tatsumi relayed the information and then he checked the time on his watch. "If you'll excuse me, Kurosaki-kun, I have to meet up with the Chief this morning."

"Of course." Hisoka nodded his head, Tatsumi went the other direction for the Chief's office. "His older sister, I think I heard of her name before. No, he commented on her cooking skills and teaching him to ballroom dance. Nothing else."

Thinking about Tsuzuki's change of behavior, Hisoka rubbed his temples. Tsuzuki wasn't present and he still managed to cause a slight twinge in his brain. He hated to admit when he worried over someone.

Tapping his fingers on his forearm, Hisoka sighed. He hurried back into their office and put on his jean jacket. Patting down his pockets, he nodded his head at locating his wallet.

Hisoka wondered what type of flowers were appropriate for a grave.

* * *

The groundskeeper of the cemetery helped Tsuzuki gather the supplies needed for the initial cleanup. The man filled up a bucket while Tsuzuki started up a cordial conversation. Nothing too informative where Tsuzuki revealed anything about his older sister. The date of birth would throw off the man if he saw the flowers on her grave. Although, he got questioned about the numerous bouquets in his arms. He confessed on missing a few years due to work and made up for it through bringing them. No more questions came after that.

Tsuzuki hauled the bucket of water and cleaning supplies without any trouble. Walking toward the older graves, some of the water sloshed out and splashed onto the stone stairs. The flowers became a bit bruised from holding them underneath one of his arms. One of them kept sliding down his side and he caught it before it landed onto the ground.

At the sight of the grave, Tsuzuki almost ran toward the area. Seeing the grime covered the once pristine grave, Tsuzuki cringed at leaving it go in disrepair. An easy fix through scrubbing it all clean.

Tsuzuki stopped in front of the grave. He set the flowers and bucket on the ground. Smiling light, he reached out his hand, touching the marker of her name. "Hey Ruka, sorry it took me so long to come back. Work got a bit busy and I couldn't leave. I forgot to bring you food this time. I'll come back tomorrow to leave a box of sweets. Double visit!"

As he inspected the damage, he noticed a dirtied silk ribbon fluttering in the wind. Part of the ribbon got caught in one of the cracks of the grave, keeping it in place. Tugging it a bit, he came right out. He remembered tying this white ribbon on one of the pillars before he partnered up with Hisoka. Glad that it survived the harsh weather conditions, he tied it around one of the bouquets.

Grabbing one of the brushes from the bucket, he began cleaning the grave. Focusing on clearing the built up dirt, Tsuzuki twisted his body in different directions to get into the crevices. He spent a considerable amount of time on his task. Staring at certain areas again before he remained satisfied with the results.

"There, all clean!" Tsuzuki declared, tossing the brush into the bucket. "I know how much you hated messes, Ruka. You used to lecture me all about it. I have to say, I still haven't learned my lesson. My partner always harps on me about leaving crumbs on my desk." Moving the bucket onto the side, he crouched down, touching her name. "I can never thank you enough."

* * *

 _"It's just you and me now, Asato." Ruka carded her fingers through his hair, shielding him from the cremation process. She faced the crematorium, while he held her waist, burrowing his face into her belly. Black smoke filtered into the air, the remnants of their mother smoldering into mere ash and bone. "It's us against the world."_

 _Tsuzuki peered up, his watery purple eyes glinting under the sun. "Really? Just us?" He tightened his hold on his sister, his tiny hands gripped the back of her yukata._

 _Ruka pressed a kiss in the middle of his forehead. "Of course, we're all that we have left of our family. No one else, but us. Ruka and Asato Tsuzuki."_

 _They cried in each others arms, night after night, until the grief of their mother became bearable._

* * *

 _Tsuzuki walked through the main door of his home, downtrodden and defeated. Curling his hands into a fist, he hitched his breath at the scratched he received from his fall. Without Ruka's constant presence, the other boys took it upon themselves to chase after him. He ran fast enough, but he tripped on a protruding rock on the ground. The rocks cut into the palms of his hands. He hid in the tall grass until they gave up and left him alone._

 _When he was smaller, they taunted him, but as he grew older, the teasing escalated even higher._ _He kept this from Ruka._ _She had bigger things to worry about than his petty little problems. He'll have to crush an ointment while Ruka wasn't home._

 _"Welcome home!" Ruka came rushing through their shared bedroom, Tsuzuki's heart jump started. "My boss let me come home early."_

 _Forgetting about his troubles, Tsuzuki rushed to her side and embraced her._

 _Ruka wrapped her arms around him, she smiled. "You're getting taller every day. I'm sure one day you'll grow as tall as the sky."_

 _Tsuzuki hoped so. He hated his small size. It made him an easy target for everyone._

 _"Anything new happen while I was gone?"_

 _"No." Tsuzuki released her and back away. "I was just wandering around."_

 _"Ah, the freedom of youth." Ruka went to the area which served as their kitchen. "Well, I have a surprise for you. I managed to maneuver some of our kitchen utensils to make an oven of sorts. Otherwise, this wouldn't have cooked as well." She motioned to their low rise table. "Go on, rinse your hands and sit down."_

 _"Yes, Ruka."_

 _Tsuzuki went to a water jug they used for cleaning. He scooped up water in a bowl and poured some on his hands. Gritting his teeth, he went through the pain, rubbing the dirt off of areas that didn't have a scratch. Once he finished, he went to his designated spot at their worn out table._

 _Ever since she began working at the restaurant, Ruka's cooking tasted better than ever. He couldn't wait to taste what she made for him._

 _When she came to the table, he hid his hands from her sight. She crouched down, showing a triangle with holes on the top and gooey filling._ _"What's this?"_

 _"Apple pie." Ruka set the plate in front of him. "I got the recipe from my job. It's a sweet from overseas. One of the foreigners had the chef prepare it for him, didn't care about the high price. The supplies are in short demand right now, but I managed to make due with what we have."_

 _Tsuzuki poked at it, pouting at strange appearance. "It doesn't look like a sweet." He tried hard not to whine, his sister spent her free time preparing it for him. She worked long hours to keep food in their bellies._

 _Ruka giggled, ruffling Tsuzuki's hair. "Go on, try it. We can't go around and waste food. It's not a luxury we can afford. Besides," Ruka crouched beside him, "I ate a slice at work, everyone loved it."_

 _Using his chopsticks, Tsuzuki broke off a piece, chunks of apple fell back onto the plate._

 _Ruka hid her smile behind her hand. "Asato, you can always pick it up and eat it that way."_

 _Tsuzuki's face went red. He grabbed the pie at the end, taking a quick bite. Tasting the apple mixture and the flaky crust, his face beamed. He ate the whole slice and asked for another one. Ruka grinned, leaving to cut him another piece. He loved it!_

* * *

 _"Asato, what are you doing?!" Ruka snatched the knife away from Tsuzuki, horrified at the cuts around the perimeter of his eyes. She removed a rag from her sleeve pocket and readied herself to clean off the blood from his face._

 _Tsuzuki felt the air, realizing he didn't have the knife in his hand, he glared at his sister. "Ruka! Give it back!"_

 _Ruka set the knife behind her, she knelt in front of him, blocking him from getting his hands on it. "Asato. Explain yourself, please." He stared down onto the floor. "Asato..." She worried her bottom lip, before going further she began cleaning off his face._

 _He winced as the tears mingled with the fresh cuts made from the knife. As he pondered on his actions, he regretted them, but he felt compelled to do so. The teasing and beatings would stop. He might even make a friend. Ruka had plenty of friends from her jobs. He didn't have_ one.

 _Breaking down, Tsuzuki cried. "They_ hate _me! They all say that my eyes are the devil's eyes. I don't want them! I'd rather cut them out."_

 _Ruka applied a comforting pressure to Tsuzuki's trembling shoulders. "Asato, you won't be able to see without them. You can't just hurt yourself like this. Who hates you?"_

 _Tsuzuki confessed. "The neighborhood boys."_

 _"Oh...I'm sure there's a friend out there just waiting for you to play." Ruka tried placating him._

 _It didn't work._

 _"No, there's not! I—I want to be normal!" Tsuzuki hiccuped, rubbing his eyes until they reddened. "I don't want them..."_

 _Fury bubbled in the pit of her stomach. She heard the neighbors gossiping over her brother's eyes, the apparent unnaturalness of them. She found them quite stunning, but it seemed the masses thought otherwise. It seemed the children picked up on the sentiment and turned against Asato. All this nonsense for a different eye color._

 _Swallowing her emotions, she tried comforting to the best of her abilities. Losing control solved nothing._

 _Tsuzuki turned around, blocking Ruka from seeing his eyes. "You'll hate me too. I don't want you to hate them."_

 _"I wish I had your eyes. Did I ever tell you that?" Ruka held Tsuzuki from behind, his hands latched onto hers. "They are so bright and beautiful. From the moment you opened your eyes, I fell in love. You mean the world to me. It's us against the world."_

 _Tsuzuki spun around and fell into her arms. He hugged her tight. Releasing a new wave of tears into her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair the whole time. Her comforting words helped him during the worse times of his life._

* * *

Tsuzuki ran his finger over the chilled stone. "Remember Hisoka? Guess what? He's still my partner. You already know, of course, but I wanted to repeat it. Surprising isn't it?" He ran his fingers through his bangs, pushing them away from his face. "I think I grew on him. In his own way, he cares about me. He's just an open sort of guy, on account of his powers."

The winds picked up, tickling the hairs on the back of his neck. Shivering, Tsuzuki paused, taking back his hand away from the stone. His hair moved about, reminiscent of one of Ruka's old hair tussling habit. Whenever she held him, it was inevitable that her fingers rustled his hair into a worse sight. He missed it.

His thoughts went back in time. As blurred as the images were, he remembered the warmness of Hisoka's body pressed against his own. Hisoka's light smell encased him, shielding him away. Touda's burning flame ensnared them, giving them burns beyond the healing capabilities of their bodies. Hisoka stayed behind. Holding onto him, bringing him back from the darkness he desired to jump into.

"He saved _me_. I saved _him_. We saved each other." He glanced down at the ground. "I thought about telling you. Through opening that can of worms, I have to include someone that I despise. Oh yes, Ruka, I actually hate someone. This one tops people that I have met throughout my time as a guardian. Worse than the ones who chased after me in life."

He dug his black loafers into the dirt, watching the hole grow in size. The clean shine dimmed from the clouds of dirt. "Hisoka is strong for having faced him. His story... _Ruka_...he's stronger than anyone gives him credit for."

Thinking he heard someone coming, he lifted up his head, glancing around the perimeter. Sighing at his skittishness, he laid his eyes on the grave again. His words caught into his throat. Respecting Hisoka's privacy, he said nothing more on the subject.

Handling the bouquets, he caressed the soft curling petal and the green stem. Yes. Calla lilies embodied Ruka. Magnificence and beauty. He remembered the other meanings as well. The history and language of flowers was a fascinating subject. Throughout the years, he asked for specific flowers which expressed a particular meaning. Sparking his interest in learning even deeper on the subject.

Feeling lonely, he bought flowers, herbs, fruit, vegetables, different varieties of plants to bring green into his bare apartment. Caring for plants brought a sense of serenity as he tended to them. Watering them, plucking out weeds, he wasn't squeamish about dirt. Sure they cluttered his home, but they filled the empty spaces with life.

Placing the flowers on the right area, Tsuzuki went back to his crouched position. He stopped fighting himself and let the flood gates open. Tears trickled down his cheeks, obscuring Ruka's name and the surrounding shrubbery. Holding himself, he sobbed hard, tears hit the ground below. His chest heaved as he took in air. He almost fell backwards, but he settled on his knees.

Bottling up his emotions until the right time became second nature to him.

* * *

 _"If you think your imagination is crazy, then my own thoughts as a kid were worse." Ruka sipped her tea, while sitting on a pillow on the floor. The cheap tea tasted tame, but it warmed up her chest. "I wanted to ballroom dance."_

 _"You wanted to ballroom dance?"_

 _Ruka nursed her cup of tea. "It was a child's dream. I learned all the steps when you were too little to remember. I kept telling people I would dance the night away at a party. Twirling around in a fancy kimono or a dress, it didn't matter to me. I wanted an escape. Of course, I got laughed at for such proclamations. Poor people don't go to extravagant parties."_

 _Tsuzuki stood up from his place on the floor, holding out his hand with a grin, he requested. "Show me."_

 _"Show you?"_

 _"How to dance!" Tsuzuki insisted. "Please, Ruka, I'm willing to learn."_

 _"You want to learn to ballroom dance?" Ruka set her cup on the floor, furrowing her brows. "Are you sure?"_

 _"Yes." Tsuzuki nodded his head. "Even if you can't dance with someone else, you have me to take their place. We can forget about the world while we're dancing together. Although...how are we going to learn without music?"_

 _"Whistling? Humming?" Ruka suggested. "Either way, I remember piano pieces from passing those large manor homes. They're the ones who can afford radios. Now," She stood up from the floor, placing a hand on her hip. "You have to get your posture straight."_

 _Tsuzuki followed Ruka's instructions. He flinched when she pinched his arm and showed him the right way to position himself. She seemed to glide on her bare feet. He added in more energy in each segment she taught him. To his surprise, he enjoyed moving on his feet, his body maneuvering into positions he never thought possible._

 _Ruka moved alongside him. Releasing her long hair from her ribbon, she engrossed herself into dancing while humming a song he didn't recognize. He saw a twinkle in Ruka's eyes, one which he thought left her years ago._

 _"You're a natural!" Ruka chirped in between humming piano pieces. "I should have guessed. You're always surprising me."_

 _Tsuzuki beamed with joy, happy to bring a smile to his sister's face. "What's the next step sequence?"_

 _Once Tsuzuki practiced to Ruka's satisfaction, she got into her position. Tsuzuki curled his hand on her waist while the other one held onto her smaller one._ _They spend the latter half of the afternoon dancing to Ruka's humming._

* * *

 _"You need to go to a doctor." Tsuzuki pleaded to her. "Ruka, you can't continue on going to work like this. You're barely able to walk. Let me pick up extra hours, this way you can turn down a day and stay at home."_

 _Ruka stumbled toward the door, she caught herself on time before she fell onto the floor. "I'm okay, Asato. This is just a simple cold. Nothing to worry about." She clenched her shawl close to her body as she coughed to the side._

 _Tsuzuki tried again. "But Ruka—"_

 _Ruka lifted her hand, "Asato, I can't miss a day of work." She showed him a reassuring smile. The usual smile she used to calm down his fears. "I'll try to get home before nightfall. Please, don't burn the rice before I get back. I'll try to bring some left over fish from the restaurant for dinner."_

 _Standing near their bedroom door, he watched her walk out the threshold of their home. He uttered out, almost screaming it out._ _"Come back safe."_

 _Ruka paused, she looked back at him. "I will."_

* * *

 _Ruka deteriorated fast._

 _She collapsed during her shift, scaring the restaurant patrons and staff members. Her coworkers brought her home and laid her on his futon. He insisted. It was cushier than the one she used. From their mutterings, Tsuzuki gathered that their boss found replacing her a nuisance. At the sight of her, there was no way she was able to work in her condition. He cursed himself for contrasting with her hours._

 _Ruka always insisted that a home visit from a doctor was expensive. Way more than their bundle of savings. No use wasting the doctor's time when herbalists wrote down home-made medicines for a nominal fee._

 _He tried every remedy that an old herbalist from next door suggested. Knowing of their dire situation, she cut down the usual fee. Gathering his own meager earnings, he spent the money on herbs and whatever cheap medicine he found in the stores. Ruka humored him, drinking anything he handed into her weakening hands._

Nothing worked.

 _At his job, his thoughts went back to his sick sister, distracting him from his duties. He quit his job in order to look after her full time. No regrets. Ruka would have done the same for him._

 _During the night, Tsuzuki kept watch on her. His heart constricted at the sound of her labored breathing. He sat beside the futon, holding onto her wrist, feeling the blood racing in her veins. Giving him an indication that she continued on living. As selfish as it sounded, he wanted to keep her alive for another while longer._

 _He wasn't ready to let her go._

 _He insisted to himself that his sister would recover soon. Only a matter of time._

 _Her hair thinned, eyes sunk into her head, skin paled almost translucent white, and her figure wasted away._

 _He cried himself to sleep._

 _During her lucid moments, Ruka teased him about his worrying. Her hands laid on her chest, but he saw her pointer finger wagging at him. He forced himself to smile for her. In between her coughing fits, she asked about his job. He made up sweet lies which soothed her curiosity, no use distressing her._

 _One afternoon, she managed to sit up on her own. Tsuzuki's knees almost gave out when he walked into the room and saw her. He thought a miracle happened. His sister was_ recovering _. Somehow, she started pulling through on her own._

 _In celebration, he ordered out a meal from a nearby restaurant. A bit out of their normal range, but he couldn't risk cooking a horrible meal on such a spectacular day. Once he picked it up, he ran back to their home, smiling for the first time in months. Multitasking between feeding Ruka, feeding himself, and babbling throughout their dinner, he rejoiced in having his sister back._

 _Ruka appeared subdued throughout that afternoon. Her gentle smile never left her face. She spoke to him in length, recalling old memories, embracing him with weak arms. He expected to hear something about their father. Ruka revealed multiple secrets on that day, but she never said a thing about the mysterious father._

 _When night fell, Ruka laid back down onto the futon. Her breathing quickened from the pressure coming onto her chest._ _Tsuzuki tried not to fluster in a panic. He laid next to her on her thinner futon. Reaching out his hand on instinct, he curled his fingers around her wrist._

 _She hummed an old lullaby their mother used to sing to them when they were young. Images of their mother's face blurred through the passage of time, giving him no mental recognition of the woman he once called mother. Tsuzuki nodded off to sleep, exhausted from the excitement of the day. He clutched her hand, hoping he woke up to Ruka taking another step toward recover._

 _He woke up to disaster._

* * *

 _Tsuzuki cried silent tears throughout Ruka's cremation. He exhausted his voice the night before her funeral procession, whenever anyone addressed him, he bowed. Ruka's coworkers, different bosses, and familiar faces came to pay their respects. His bloodshot eyes glanced at everyone for brief moments, taking in their sorrow. More people came to her funeral than he expected. Ruka never brought people over to their home or even mentioned them by name. They were acquaintances for lack of a better term. One after one, they passed him, their voices tight and strained when they expressed their condolences to_ him _._

 _He suspected they saw him as a nuisance to his sister. She worked long hours at different jobs to supplement their income. Ruka insisted on keeping him from working because it was her duty as an older sister. Having lead their small family for years, she wanted him to bask in a stress-free life before he entered the job force. Once he seemed old enough, he began working, much to his sister's reluctance._

 _He thought his sister would have quit one job to lessen her strain. He brought in money, more than enough to prompt her to relax. She didn't do it. Stubborn and insistent, she kept on working, pushing past her capabilities. Her work ethic kept him at his old job, he didn't want to disappoint her._

 _Out of respect for Ruka, her coworkers collected a substantial amount of money for her cremation and a proper grave stone. Tsuzuki tried remembering his mother's location in order to bury them together. In his blind grief, he forgot the area and gave up trying to remember. Someone else picked the plot for him and he paid off everything before doing acting rash with the donation money._

 _He sold most of their possessions and home. His sister's scent lingered on her clothing and the air inside their small place. The sight of the familiar walls dug a deeper hole in his heart. He heard the whispers of his callous behavior, but no one understood his anguish and despair. Best to block out people who didn't care to understand him before Ruka left the world._

 _Clutching her favorite ribbons in his clammy hands, he stood at the hilltop. The bright sunny day contrasted with his darkening spirit. Almost taunting him at the loss of the last person who cared for him._ _He stared at the black smoke floating up to the clear blue sky. Taking away the remnants of his happiness on Earth._

* * *

Waiting until Tsuzuki calmed down, Hisoka materialized beside him. Spooking Tsuzuki into a crouching position, he kept his teasing to himself. Not the right time. "So, this is where you come every few years, Tsuzuki. The location is further than I expected."

Tsuzuki stayed put, his voice cracked. "It's taken this long for you to investigate the location, Hisoka?"

"I could have tracked you down at any time. I was being considerate of your mourning." Tsuzuki heard the sound of crinkling wrapping paper. He blinked back tears. Hisoka brought Ruka flowers. "It was not my place to intrude on your private time with your sister. I'm sure you'd rather be alone to think of the memories you have of her."

Tsuzuki sniffled. "You've stayed by my side throughout my worst moments. I don't mind having you here with me. A little crying never hurt anyone." He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "No one other than me visits her grave now. Anyone who ever knew her has passed on."

"I see."

Hisoka crouched beside Tsuzuki. Steadying himself, he laid his bouquet on his lap. Giving Tsuzuki sympathetic eyes, he turned to the gravestone, clasping his hands together, muttering a quick prayer. Once he finished, he moved the white carnations right beside the fresh calla lilies bouquets.

As he remained in the same position, through the forefront of Tsuzuki's mind, came images of Ruka Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki captivated the memory of her in immense detail. From the color of her light brown hair to the light scattering of freckles on the bridge of her nose. He saw Ruka reprimanding Tsuzuki before giving him a loving hug. Ruka bandaged Tsuzuki from the smallest scrape to ones given to him by the neighborhood kids. She smiled bright at the sight of her little brother through the constant tiredness on her face.

Memories that were once locked inside Tsuzuki's heart came pouring out to him. Almost as if Tsuzuki forgot someone was right beside him. Hisoka reached out a hand and curled it around Tsuzuki's quivering one. Tsuzuki locked his mind the moment their hands touched.

Trying not to take it personal, Hisoka took his hand back. "Does anyone else know?"

"Hmm?"

"Does anyone in the office know that you visit Tsuzuki-san's grave?"

Without looking at him, Tsuzuki ruffled Hisoka's hair. "Call her Ruka, Hisoka. She wasn't one for formalities." Staring at her name, his smile fell a bit. "She brought out the best of people. No one ever had a bad word to say about her." _Unlike me_ , he left out. "I think Tatsumi figured it out decades ago. He doesn't stop me when I take a day off this time of year."

Hisoka smoothed down any stray hairs. Staring at the numerous flowers, he commented. "I'm guessing that our latest cases stopped you from coming the last few years."

"Yeah. That's why I made up for it through bringing her four bouquets of flowers. One for each year I haven't seen her." Tsuzuki fiddled with his watch, his fingers slipped underneath the leather band, "These flowers make her grave seem less empty."

Hisoka stood up straight, tired of keeping the same position for long. "How long will you keep doing this? I'm sure Ruka passed on moments after she died. She won't respond back to you." He bit his tongue for his insensitive words. "Sorry..."

Tsuzuki chuckled, going into a kneeling position, he moved the flowers around. "This is a comforting place for me believe it or not. I might be talking to a grave stone, but I feel like I'm able to pour out my feelings. I did this often when I was still alive." His attachment ran deeper than he recalled. He slept on her grave, clinging to her mere memory. "It helps that no one can see me once I lay down my flowers."

"Oh."

"Thank you for coming, Hisoka."

Hisoka stood beside Tsuzuki, watching him fiddle with Ruka Tsuzuki's grave. Tsuzuki moved flowers in one area, but then, slid them onto the other side. Tsuzuki's indecision making brought an eye twitch from him. Regardless, he conceded on waiting on his partner, giving him his boundless support.


End file.
